Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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