hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
