Yo dont text me then not text me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
