the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
