i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize