Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
