He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
