He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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