There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
high people should be assigned attendants
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
