normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
