Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
