No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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