hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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