carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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