oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
