I just made out with a guy for $7.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she pinky promised me she was 18
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
how do you play pong handcuffed?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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