The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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