She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
