Acid is not a monday night drug
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
