1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
