Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
