Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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