There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
