did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
