You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
