I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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