It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
