38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
