good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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