I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
