he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
