He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
