I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
