is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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