He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
