did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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