It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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