What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize