found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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