Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
