yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I fill condoms, not promises.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
