I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
