So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize