Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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