The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
