so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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