Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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