she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
