I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize