Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
