Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
