In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
