I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
