Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
