WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize