so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was confusing and full of hummus
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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