whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
