the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
