Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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