i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
