his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like a drive thru vagina
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
