i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
