can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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