my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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