you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish i was in the wii world.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
