I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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